


A Question For A Daisy

by DarchangelSkye



Category: Canadian Idol RPF, Canadian Music RPF, Music RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Flowers, Inspired by Novel, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Present Tense, Wordcount: 500-1.000, written in 2004
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-17
Updated: 2010-08-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 03:28:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarchangelSkye/pseuds/DarchangelSkye





	A Question For A Daisy

_*no one knows the true beauty of my desire.*  
*people forget what i want.*  
*people forget what i need.*  
*10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3.*_

It's barely been a few days since Jacob's heartfelt confession has been bared to the world, the backlash quick and harsh, and people not knowing what to think. One of those people is Kalan Porter.

He's outside by himself on the mansion grounds after a rehearsal, above all things wanting to be left alone. All he can think about is Jacob's words, so beautifully written and yet so painful.

_What about what I need?_ Kalan thinks selfishly. _I need you! You were supposed to stick this out with me until the end, and now it's so close to the end and you're backing out? What are you afraid of, Jacob? Huh?_

He knows perfectly damn well what Jacob's afraid of- winner's stigma.

One had to face the facts. Was Ryan really that better off than when he started? One quick single and video (and not a very good single or video at that) so he could be forgotten about before they crown a new champion.

_Of all the countries doing Idol shows, Canada has to be the one to screw it up,_ Kalan thinks, kicking at a rock, _and treat it like a beauty pageant. But I'm scared, too. And so is Theresa._

He sits, draws his legs up to his chest, and bites his lip to stifle oncoming tears. _What was I thinking getting into this? If I wasn't such a chickenshit I'd walk away now._

If only they can all walk away and not care who's first, second, or third. Even moderate success like Billy's or Gary's is better than Ryan's one-hit-wonder-ism.

_But that's up to the people..._

He trails off in his thoughts and looks around the mansion grounds. The greenery's still lush, it'll be another month before the cold weather creeps in.

And in a carefully taken care of flowerbed is a spray of colored daisies.

Kalan remembers back to when he was just entering high school and had encountered his first crush. When he was alone, he'd take wild daisies from the field at home and perform the old "she loves me, she loves me not" ritual with the petals. The results were usually 50/50.

When he'd met Jacob and fallen hard, there were no flowers to give him answers, so in lonely moments he'd be flipping a coin- heads for "he loves me," tails for "he loves me not."

_But after I told him what I felt, I didn't have any more questions- until now._

Maybe it's Fate, he decides.

A question for a daisy.

He goes over to the flowerbed and picks one, briefly admiring the maroon streaks up the middle of each golden petal.

Kalan refrains from mentally counting the petals, knowing too well that odd numbers is good news and even numbers is bad news.

The only thing is, who could the bad news be for this time?

He sits again and begins the countdown. "Jacob stays," he says, pulling off the first petal.

His mind speaks up, _Oh, sure, and have Theresa go just like that! Deny her a grand chance just so you can spend one more week with your boyfriend! How selfish is that?_

Kalan shakes his head to rid himself of that crazy thought, picks another petal and says, "Jacob goes."

_And leaves you heartbroken and miserable._

These alternating thoughts continue as Kalan picks apart the flower.

_What if it's really what he wants? He could change his mind any time._

_Jacob's always true to his word. If he wants out, he wants out._

_Stay and leave Hedley behind in the dust? As if!_

_Hedley's gotten so much publicity now. He can leave at this point and someone will be begging to sign them, and he'll be on his way._

_But I need him! I can't go through this alone!_

_What's Theresa got that Jacob doesn't? Haven't you stopped to think about what she wants?_

_She's been thinking the same things, too. If she goes- it'll be mercy for her, no firing squad._

_But wouldn't Jacob want to be happy and not face the squad either? Don't you want him to be happy?_

_He deserves to go all the way to the finals. You can't deny his talent._

Kalan comes out of his alternating thoughts long enough to see how many petals are left.

Just one.

And he's picked eleven so far.

Even numbers.

He finds himself staring at it for he doesn't know how long, every emotion he's felt or has ever heard of hitting him square in the face.

It was a question for a daisy- and this is an answer he does and doesn't want.

And he crushes the flower in his hand.


End file.
